The McWetlog

This whole thing with image macros and variants on lolcats — lolruses, gebrils (NOT sic), even lolbrarians and loltrek — and the associated mangled grammar is probably on the cusp of lameness, so why don’t I help it along with my own particular … idiom. Presenting LOLSNAKE!!!1one

I can’t be the only one who’s noticed the similarities between Mr. and Mrs. Beaver in the 2005 live-action movie version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and the Bell spokesbeavers Frank and Gordon (whose eponymous web site has mysteriously vanished):

The movie was on one of the pay channels the other day, and I couldn’t help thinking that the beavers were going to hand the Pevensie children cameraphones at any minute.

Now that I see them side by side, I’m not so sure any more.

Watching a rerun of The Colbert Report the other day, Jennifer and I ended up laughing ourselves senseless over this bit, which combines the gay marriage debate with reports that a woman in India had married a snake, and takes it into very strange territory …

Of course, part of the reason we were laughing so hard is because Colbert is actually describing the right way to sex a snake. We were pointing at the screen and screaming: “Ahhh! He’s actually doing it! Oh god oh god oh god.” (Gasp. Breathe.)

When you’re snake people, it’s not something you expect to see, you see. Wow.

Via Table of Malcontents.

This is the most pressing question from the new Mac ads: In “WSJ”, is the PC (played by resident expert John Hodgman) referring to a review in the Awesome Awesome Computer Review Weekly Journal, or is he referring, with a bit of a stammer, to the Awesome Computer Review Weekly Journal? I’m sure that confusion happens a lot on the newsstands. You’d think the two publishers would have a sit-down over it or something.

A second episode in the Seinfeld and Superman American Express series is up; just click “No Thanks” to avoid having to register for the Amex spam opt-in e-mail (see previous entry).

Eric Idle presents The FCC Song (MP3 file, 3.1 MB, repeated use of naughty word).

Here’s a little song I wrote the other day while I was out duck hunting with a judge … It’s a new song, it’s dedicated to the FCC and if they broadcast it, it will cost a quarter of a million dollars.

(via Ceej)

The Silmarillion in 1,000 words (via Boing Boing). An excerpt from the tale of Beren and Lúthien:

BEREN: Ooo! Pretty elf lady!
THINGOL: You can have her if you … BRING ME A SHINY!
BEREN: Worth a shot.
LUTHIEN: La la la
MORGOTH: Ooo baby… *zzz*
BEREN: Got your shiny!
MORGOTH: you BASTARD! I stole those fair and square!
CARCHAROTH: Grar.
BEREN: Ow!
THINGOL: Got the shiny?
BEREN: ‘s in my hand.
THINGOL: And?
BEREN: Hand’s not here.
THINGOL: Crap, I really wanted that shiny.

Way funny. Probably funnier if you’ve actually read the book. Really hilarious to see the Oath of Fëanor, in Tolkien’s inestimably archaic style, condensed into “WANT SHINY!”

The punchline to “You know what the last thing Jesus said was?” left me gasping for air, I was laughing so hard, when I saw Sam Kinison’s routine on SNL in October 1986 (Windows Media: dialup, highspeed). Presumably much cleaner than his regular routine, it was nevertheless heavily censored when the episode was rerun (in one bit on drugs, the audio was killed; they excised the Jesus joke altogether).

For a while I thought this was the funniest thing imaginable; I was 16, and it was the 1980s. Now I’m twice that age and the stand-up comedy’s a lot stronger than it used to be, and old Sam Kinison jokes don’t seem as risqué — or as funny — as they once did. We’ve come a long way.

Links: Sam Kinison Official Web Site, Kinison.com: A Multmedia Tribute to the Life and Comedy of Sam Kinison.

Seinfeld and Superman shill for American Express in hilarious web-only short films (long by commercial standards). Still can’t get “Oh Yes! Wyoming!” out of my head. (via Boing Boing)

Having fun with your high school chemistry exam. Hilarious. Jen says that some of her students have turned in exams like this; she’s not altogether sure whether they were serious or not, though. Via MetaFilter.

The Shat is reportedly going to release another album (via the Kottke). The first album he shat out was The Transformed Man, highlights of which are available in the Shatner-Nimoy extravaganza, Spaced Out.

Via the Kottke, Stupid Evil Bastard has a list of what not to do during a screening of The Return of the King, original authorship apparently unknown, as it seems to be making the inevitable e-mail rounds. Not that it’s shown up in my inbox; I hate getting e-mail like this. But it’s fine for blogging. (It’s actually pretty good.)